Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
