It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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