Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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