Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
