Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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