Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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