I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
