That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
