this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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