Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
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