i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
