Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The ass gains better be worth it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
