i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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