I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
