I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
