the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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