It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
