he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
