just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize