So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
