I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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