I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
