Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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