I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
