Sponge bath it is.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
