people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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