i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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