my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
