just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
