Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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