i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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