Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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