Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
