saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
