all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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