As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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