I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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