Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
