what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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