I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize