She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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