he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
