Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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