I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
