Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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