What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
