I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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