Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i need to put some appletini on your dick
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
