So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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