My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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