I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
