drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
