Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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