She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We need to get me chipped asap
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
