You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
