Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
