He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize